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post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-21-2008, 02:00 AM Thread Starter
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Exclamation Stupid ad on Craigs List.

My Brother found this and sent me a link, read it & lets hear what you think about this persons IQ...
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best of craigslist : Manly Bike for Sale


Manly Bike for Sale

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Date: 2008-07-22, 10:18AM PDT



Bike for sale


What kind of bike? I don't know, I'm not a bike scientist. What I am though is a manly guy looking to sell his bike. This bike is made out of metal and kick ass spokes. The back reflector was taken off, but if you think that deters me from riding at night, you're way wrong. I practiced ninja training in Japan's mount Fuji for 5 years and the first rule they teach about ninja biking is that back reflectors let the enemy know where you are. Not having a rear reflector is like saying "FUCK YOU CAR, JUST TRY AND FIND ME".



The bike says Giant on the side because it's referring to my junk, but rest assured even if you have tiny junk that Giant advertisement is going to remain right where it is. I bought this bike for 300 dollars from a retired mercenary that fought in both World War 1 and World War 2 and had his right arm bitten off by a shark in the Phillipines while stationed there as a shark handler. When he sold it to me I had to arm wrestle him for the honor to buy it. I broke his arm in 7 places when I did. He was so impressed with me he offered me to be his son but I thought that was sissy shit so I said no way.



The bike has some rusted screws, but that just shows how much of a bad ass you are. Everyone knows rusted screws on a bike means that you probably drove it underwater and that's bad ass in itself. Those screws can be replaced with shiny new ones, but if you're going to go to that trouble why not just punch yourself in the balls since you're probably a dickless lizard who doesn't like to look intimidating.



The bike is for men because the seat is flat or some shit and not shaped like a dildo. If you like flat seated bikes you're going to love this thing because it doesn't try to penetrate your ass or anything.



I've topped out at 75 miles per hour on this uphill but if you're just a regular man you'll probably top it out at 10 miles per hour. This thing is listed as a street bike which is man-code for bike tank. The bike has 7 speeds in total:


Gear 1 - Sissy Gear
Gear 2 - Less Sissy Gear
Gear 3 - Least Sissy Gear
Gear 4 - Boy Gear
Gear 5 - Pre-teen Boy Gear
Gear 6 - Manly Gear
Gear 7 - Big Muscles Gear

I only like gear 6 and 7 to be honest.


Additionally, this tool of all immense men comes with a gigantic lock to keep it secure. The lock is the size of a bull's testicles and tells people you don't fuck around with locking up your bike tank. It tells would-be-thieves "Hey asshole, touch this bike and I'll appear from the bushes ready to club you with a two-by-four".


Bike is for 150 OBO (and don't give me no panzy prices)



it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 765370039

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http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/765370039.html

I think that their flight from and hatred of technology is self-defeating. The Buddha rests quite as comfortably in the circuits of a digital computer or the gears of a cycle transmission as he does at the top of a mountain or in the petals of a flower. To think otherwise is to demean the Buddha--which is to demean oneself.

Robert M. Pursig
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post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-21-2008, 02:14 AM
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LOL! Hilarious.
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post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-21-2008, 02:45 AM
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Must be an Oakland Raider fan who's selling his "Man-gina bike"

Go ahead... "why not just punch yourself in the balls since you're probably a dickless lizard who doesn't like to look intimidating. "
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post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-21-2008, 06:32 AM
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creative
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post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-21-2008, 07:55 AM
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post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-21-2008, 09:01 AM
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Best part

"Those screws can be replaced with shiny new ones, but if you're going to go to that trouble why not just punch yourself in the balls since you're probably a dickless lizard who doesn't like to look intimidating."
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post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-21-2008, 09:07 AM
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Someone is a little loooooney



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post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-21-2008, 09:10 AM
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I just wasted 2 minutes of my life reading that!
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post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-21-2008, 09:31 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dirtysidedown View Post
I just wasted 2 minutes of my life reading that!
Come on, it must of taken him all day to come up with that. Thats some funny shit! GO RAIDERS BIKE CLUB!!!
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post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-21-2008, 09:34 AM
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He probably thought of it while he was fabricating an awesome new fan setup for the Rhino! eeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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